Are you tired of trying to fix your spouse and getting nowhere? You never will. That’s because you are trying to fix the wrong person!
Focus on fixing, changing, correcting and taking control of yourself.
FIX
Focus on managing yourself. What improvements can you make on yourself? What can you change or do differently? What attitude adjustments do you need to make? What thoughts do you need to alter? What faulty beliefs do you need to let go of and what do you need to align to the truth. Take care of yourself and let your partner take care of himself.
Stop blaming and start blessing. Stop changing and controlling and start confessing eternal truth. I didn’t say it was going to be easy.
Count your blessing but also consider your losses. Grieve what you don’t have or can’t get from your partner, then gravitate to the Creator. Fix your gaze on Him. He has everything you need and let Him guide you to other sources. Take a step and let Him part the waters for you.
Focus on loving yourself and accepting yourself the way God loves and accepts you. Honour yourself. Treat yourself with kindness and respect. Believe and speak what God’s says about you. Think His thoughts. Then focus on loving and accepting others with grace and compassion.
Forgive yourself and forgive others their sins and shortcoming. Remember you have your own.
Insist on being the right person rather than on being right. Insist on loving and respecting yourself and others. Remember you are only responsible for how well you love and respect others, not how well they love and respect you.
Stop insisting on what you can’t have or can’t get. Stop having temper tantrums. You can’t always get what you want or think you need. Accept your reality. Start with what is and where you are.Then move forward to what you desire and long for. Account for pot holes, road blocks and detours. They are part of the journey.
Invite and involve God and others. They have a lot of things you don’t have and need. Don’t let shame stop you from asking for help. Initiate, make your requests known. Don’t just wait for others to do something.
EXpress your thoughts, feelings, fears and desires. State what you think, what you feel, what you are afraid of, and what you long for, wish for, hope for, desire, prefer, want and need.
EXpress your expectations, otherwise they lead to disappointments. People aren’t mind readers, not even your spouse. Tell them what you would like/expect them to do and ask if they can do it.
EXpose your faults not the faults of your spouse or others. James 5:16 says to confess your faults to one another. It doesn’t recommend you confess the faults of others.
Fixing others is frustrating. Make fixing yourself fun. Celebrate the big and small good choices and changes you make. FIXing yourself take Faith, Intimacy with God and is eXhilerating.
Be patient with yourself because it takes time and it is so worthwhile. You will be glad you made the switch and shift towards fixing you. And together with God, you will succeed.